Read on to find out about:
1. Should guests help? The answer is a qualified yes.
2. Some guidelines" for “safe” jobs to give guests
3. A list of jobs guests could do
Should guests help? The answer is a qualified yes.
Why yes? Because sometimes the answer is yes, and sometimes it is not.
If you are hosting the party on your own, you should certainly accept offers of help. Most guests will feel tense instead of relaxed if they see you working yourself to a frazzle while they sit and do nothing.
If you and a partner are hosting, you may wish to do everything yourselves, or just accept a small amount of help.
After all, you have invited your guests so they can enjoy someone else cooking and serving dinner. If you put them to work too hard, they will resent it.
So if you decide yes to the question of should guests help, be prepared. Plan your answers carefully. Be ready when guests ask what they can do to help. Not all dinner party prep jobs are ones that your guests should be doing. But there are quite a few that are suitable. Just follow a few simple guidelines:
Some guidelines for “safe” jobs to give guests:
Don’t give a guest a job that isolates him or her from the company
Whatever a guest does, it should be short and sweet. In other words, only assign jobs guests can complete in a minute or two. Don’t isolate a guest in the kitchen stirring your sauce for fifteen minutes. (Don’t isolate yourself, either, make a different kind of sauce that doesn’t take as long!)
Have everything the guest needs to do the job at hand .
For example, if you ask a guest to open the wine, don’t leave him or her to root around in all your drawers to find the corkscrew. Plan ahead, and make sure the corkscrew is laid out near the wine.
Give the guest a job that frees you up to do something else . Don’t give a guest a job that you have to supervise. You could probably do it faster yourself.
Usually this means giving a guest short, self-contained jobs. Lighting the candles is a perfect example. Of course you have already laid out the matches.
Give the guest a job that you would otherwise have to do yourself at the last minute or during the meal. Some tasks simply can’t be done in advance, like pouring the water, or clearing the main course.
Dealing with offers to help
If you think your needs through in advance, you will be ready to assign a task even if you don’t need help at that very moment. Say that Sally asks if you need any help. You could say “Not just now, thanks Sally, but in a few minutes I’ll ask you to pour the water if you don’t mind.”
This kind of answer accomplishes two things. It gets you help you will need in a few minutes, and it puts Sally at ease. By offering she has established that she is a thoughtful guest. She doesn’t have to worry the way she might when she sees you trying finish all the last-minute jobs yourself. Now she knows what "her" job is, and she is comfortable with knowing that she will be helpful when water-pouring time comes.
A list of jobs guests could do
- pour the water
- light the candles
- open the wine
- escort someone who has mobility problems to the table
- serve the wine
- help with cocktails and refills before dinner
- pass a tray of appetizers
- clear the main course
- serve the coffee
- serve the dessert at the table (for example, cut the pie)
One of your guests may be someone who you know is shy but seems eager to be helpful. Often this kind of person is comfortable taking on a job. It gives him or her a role, and a way to relate to other guest without too much anxiety.
So if you have a guest like that, try to accept their offer of help. It may just break the ice for your guest while it helps your dinner party along.
Should guests help? Yes, if you plan ahead for what they can do, and keep it simple!
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